This was my reply...I'd love to hear more input from my friends going through the same thing
Figure out his triggers (you can ask him, I'm sure he'll tell you) and avoid them whenever possible...
Don't try to put yourself in his shoes, you can sympathize, but empathy will bring you down with him, and you'll never truly understand what he feels...and he'll probably tell you that many times if you try.
Make sure that you take time to take care of yourself...if you don't have a hobby, get one.
If you don't have a friend going through something similar, find one...in real life or a message board online...if you don't have someone you feel like you can say anything in the world to without being judged you will feel isolated and alone.
Take time to appreciate and remember the moments when things are okay...hold on to them to get you through the times they are not.
Love him, comfort him when he wants it, give him space when he wants it, and learn to have patience like you never knew you could possess.
Don't get angry with yourself or upset with yourself when you get overwhelmed. This is something so much bigger you have to deal with than you ever imagined it could be. It affects every aspect of your life.
If you need a break...take it...its okay to step away sometimes.
Friends & family may not understand...don't get angry with them, they don't live it.
Fellow soldiers and their families may gossip, call him weak or claim he’s faking it. Ignore them…there comes no good in worrying about what anyone else thinks of you…what is important is that your family is taking care of itself and doing what it can to heal. Again, they aren’t living it …and that’s okay, in fact, that’s wonderful, because it means they don’t have to go through it too.
It’s okay to be angry, sad, disappointed, to mourn what you thought your life was going to be like…if you don’t allow yourself to feel what is natural, you’ll just end up full of self pity.
In spite of everything you do to work it out, you have to understand that there may come a time when you just can't do it anymore. Don't stay in a relationship where you feel you or your children are in danger out of a sense of loyalty. Don't stay in a relationship where you resent the other person for their illness...that just makes it worse for them, and is a horrible situation for you. I hope this doesn't happen to you.
Last, and probably the most important thing I could say...you can't help him, you can't make him get better...I know that sucks, and that's the thing I had the hardest time getting past. As women it's our nature to take care of people who need it...but this is something he has to deal with alone. The most and best you can do for him is just love him the same way you always have.
It's never easy...but my husband is pretty wonderful too...so it's so worth it...And Good Luck =)
Figure out his triggers (you can ask him, I'm sure he'll tell you) and avoid them whenever possible...
Don't try to put yourself in his shoes, you can sympathize, but empathy will bring you down with him, and you'll never truly understand what he feels...and he'll probably tell you that many times if you try.
Make sure that you take time to take care of yourself...if you don't have a hobby, get one.
If you don't have a friend going through something similar, find one...in real life or a message board online...if you don't have someone you feel like you can say anything in the world to without being judged you will feel isolated and alone.
Take time to appreciate and remember the moments when things are okay...hold on to them to get you through the times they are not.
Love him, comfort him when he wants it, give him space when he wants it, and learn to have patience like you never knew you could possess.
Don't get angry with yourself or upset with yourself when you get overwhelmed. This is something so much bigger you have to deal with than you ever imagined it could be. It affects every aspect of your life.
If you need a break...take it...its okay to step away sometimes.
Friends & family may not understand...don't get angry with them, they don't live it.
Fellow soldiers and their families may gossip, call him weak or claim he’s faking it. Ignore them…there comes no good in worrying about what anyone else thinks of you…what is important is that your family is taking care of itself and doing what it can to heal. Again, they aren’t living it …and that’s okay, in fact, that’s wonderful, because it means they don’t have to go through it too.
It’s okay to be angry, sad, disappointed, to mourn what you thought your life was going to be like…if you don’t allow yourself to feel what is natural, you’ll just end up full of self pity.
In spite of everything you do to work it out, you have to understand that there may come a time when you just can't do it anymore. Don't stay in a relationship where you feel you or your children are in danger out of a sense of loyalty. Don't stay in a relationship where you resent the other person for their illness...that just makes it worse for them, and is a horrible situation for you. I hope this doesn't happen to you.
Last, and probably the most important thing I could say...you can't help him, you can't make him get better...I know that sucks, and that's the thing I had the hardest time getting past. As women it's our nature to take care of people who need it...but this is something he has to deal with alone. The most and best you can do for him is just love him the same way you always have.
It's never easy...but my husband is pretty wonderful too...so it's so worth it...And Good Luck =)
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All I ask, is if you have anything to say, SAY IT! I have thick skin. If you think you are going to hurt my feelings, you may...but that same comment may also help me.